Either Way

Very soon, we will find out.

We will find out if one (or both) of these little Longs are "meant to be" or if we will be faced with trying again.

And either way, we will be thankful.

If this is our time, and we do hear the news we've prayed for, dreamed of, hoped for, we will be, well, I imagine we will be awe-struck, thankful, shocked, excited, joyful...

I've imagined that day...that moment...for so long now. My eyes fill with tears every time I allow myself the indulgence.

What will I be like if..no, when...it actually happens?

I can only imagine.

If this is not our time, and the news is not what we've longed for, well, let's be honest, we will be crushed. This is the closest we have come and the greatest "hope roller coaster" ride to date.

But, we've been there many, many times before, and we will pick ourselves back up.

And we will try again.

Which brings me to my list of things that I'm thankful for...either way.

1. We've made it this far in the process. There are so many obstacles in an IVF cycle, and we're so blessed to have made it to this point with such encouraging results.

2. We have another potential little fry waiting in the wings. Whether it be in a few years (we pray) or a few months, we'll have the chance to grow that little embryo (now a blastocyst) into a little baby!

3. We know that we will someday be a family. I find peace in the fact that we have options. We know that we want to be parents more than anything, and are determined to get there. If necessary, we will try again, and we will keep other doors (adoption) open.

4. We have been surrounded by the love and support of our family and friends. I cannot express how much every prayer, e-mail, phone call, conversation, and comment has meant to us. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. You have helped keep my spirits high and my faith strong throughout this beautiful and amazing process.

5. And last, but certainly not least, I am thankful for my husband. I have to gush a bit about how wonderful he has been through not only the most recent part of our journey, but through every up and down along the way. He has held me through so many tears and managed to keep me smiling and hopeful that we will somday hold our child in our arms. His love and patience proves to me everyday that he is meant to be a father, and he keeps me fighting to become the mother I long to be...and I know that we will be.

Either way, we are thankful.